1. |
the song i wrote
01:52
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i know we look the same
but when you called me by his name
it still hurt
you're wearing his shirt
you're kissing his picture goodnight
i'm lying on his side
i'm asking you to try to learn to love me while i'm here
i know you miss him
but i wish you wouldn't say that
cause he's gone
you're singing his song
your timing is wrong i don't mind
i think your rendition's nice
i'm just asking you to try to learn the song i wrote
the song i wrote instead
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2. |
machine
04:04
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another day in the valley
another day in the shadow
of the specter that does follow
so i wake up drowning
another drop in the sea
nothing to me, nothing to me
oo-wee
oo-wee
can anybody hear me?
when i am out in the public
i can't avoid the perception
i am walking indiscretion
i got my head in the cloud
my eyes are on the screen
my mind is somewhere else
i live like a machine
i live like a machine
i long to be new to my body
o how i ache to be free from all time
i fear there's a devil inside me
eating me alive
i am a creature of culture
i eat up all my feed
i feel so somewhere else
i live like a machine
i live like a machine
i look myself in the mirror
say you're not a pretender
i'm the product and the vendor
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3. |
watchin u
03:52
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i like watchin u brush yr teeth
god you're pretty like me
so thorough you're keepin it clean
god you're a habit i'd like to keep
god i hope you never ever ever ever ever leave
i like watchin u cook some eggs
god don't make me beg
you say you've got to stretch yr legs
it's a pressure release like we kicked the keg
but i like watchin u
god you're pretty like lavender
god you're pretty like me
god you're writing on a calendar
god i read it and weep
i like watchin u fall in deep
godiwishthatwereme
i like watchin u through a screen
god you're so happy
i like watchin u in a white dress
god you look like a princess
i'm so glad you're not a mess
god you're so pretty i'm obsessed!
godlike watchin u
god you're pretty like a funeral
god you're pretty like me
god i can't help but to assume the role
god you're so happy
god you're so happy
god i like watchin u
god i hope you're happy
god i hope you're happy like me
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4. |
fallin
04:46
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now i guess we're even
i break your heart you break mine
i'd gone and got myself believin
maybe we'd finally got it right
i thought i'd found a feeling true
i really would've been your baby too
after all turns out i'm the fool
for fallin, fallin for you
full moon hangin over
one girl, one bottle of wine
don't you think you should've told her
oh girl, don't you lose yourself this time
she thought she'd found somebody true
she really would've done it all for you
after all she is sad and blue
well fallin is a silly thing to do
i thought i'd found a feeling true
i really would've been your baby too
how foolish i was to presume
i could be anything but blue
after all yes i am the fool
for fallin, fallin for you
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5. |
always holding my breath
02:19
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i hit a dog with my car
since the last time i saw you
took it as a sign and that's why
i never called you
and he was fine
but i never did get to apologize
and in my mind
i still hear them say he's gonna die
i hear them say he's gonna die
i hit the mall with my friends
and i looked at all the shit
that i could not afford i felt bored
and bad about it
so i got high
and i watched that girly movie that you like
i watched it twice
but i'm not the kind of girl you like
i'm not the kind of girl you like
am i low?
am i underwater?
how would i know if i'm always holding my breath?
i'll sit alone in the sun
and i'll let it swallow me
if i close my eyes it's just like
i have tomorrow free
but instead
i have to wake up and go to work again
so let's be friends
cause my next day off is saturday
and i wanna go see that new band play!
hey!!! hey!!!!!!!!
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6. |
nowhere
04:03
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i spent december zoomed out
detached and confused about
the big picture
my brain was making shapes
planning my escape
from this future
i followed her
and now i'm nowhere
january found me jaded
iced out and isolated
indica and indecision
i made some rules for myself
but playing the fool too well
in rote fashion
i broke each one
and now i'm nowhere
summertime makes me uneasy
nostalgic and humid it's making me queasy
i watch the sunset from the top of the world
and they all say isn't that something?
and i'll say, isn't that something?
haven't taken a deep breath all week
and it shows in my shoulders
and clenching my teeth
i think maybe i'll get high and do my dishes
i'll probably just get high
and it's all right all right all right
i'll rot i'll rot i'll rot
it's all right all right all right
i'll rot i'll rot i'll rot
the nowhere is everywhere
it crawls across your eyes and out your mouth
the nothing cannot be sated
and it's bleeding through
and i'm calling you now
with the blood on the page
and i'm waking up here
again in the jaws of the nothing
rolling over
playing dead
and i resign to let it drain me
as though i may be nothing 2
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7. |
candy
04:06
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you really fucked up when you caught my eye
and you bought me a drink and put your hand on my thigh
and i don't know about your plans tonight
but i can't deny i've been a little lonely and a little bit shy
i got your number when i say my name
it's like a spell on my lips and i can tell you want a taste
i usually don't like to play these games
but i gotta say i feel pretty today
and i wanna give it out like candy
don't you wanna get a little bit sweet on me?
we get really fucked up and you take me home
though in your company i'm more or less alone
you wanna hear something you don't already know
but i've got no college credits and i'm not here to take it slow
uh-oh i don't remember your name
and i'm so damn bored so i'm sorta hard to satiate
if you see me in public don't run up i'm not the same
as i was yesterday and i won't associate
i've been giving it out like candy
don't you wanna get a sugar high off me
you want a bite of my energy
i've got you longing so desperately
i didn't mean to make you sad
got the craving and you got it bad
sorry if i made you sad
didn't i tell you i'm the best at being bad
i talk my shit to everyone i meet
and when i eat my words they're antifreeze sweet
and i've been giving it out like candy ok
i can tell that you're a little sweet on me
try and sweat me out like a fever dream
i'll smoke you down like it's nicotine
i've been giving it out like candy
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8. |
evil eye
03:18
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i stumble in like an unhappy accident no one invited
i wonder if i can tame my reactions i'm still undecided
i crumple up when i try to relax and it gets you excited
i humble myself to you but i can't help the hell you've incited
evil eye...i see u
evil eye...i see u
evil eye...what u gonna do
evil eye...i see u...i see u
taking a picture the world is your oyster with pearls artificial
writing your scripture unfurling your pointers and blowing your whistle
something is off and you need it to stop or you'll pop like a pistol
swallow all the salt it's never your own fault go consult your crystals
evil eye...i see u
evil eye...i see u
evil eye...what u gonna do
evil eye...i see u...i see u
i see u walkin around like u own the place
talkin about everybody's fake
why are u getting all on my case, on my case
i see u actin like you're all enlightened and shit
actin like you're high and mighty and shit
actually you're not above me a bit, you're not the shit
nobody likes u, it's the way that u act
but you're an empath right so you already knew that
evil eye...i see u
evil eye...i see u
evil eye...what u gonna do? what u gonna do tell me what u gonna do!
evil eye...i see u...i see u
evil eye...i see u
evil eye...i see u wouldn't wanna be u
evil eye...what u gonna do
evil eye...i see u...i see u
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9. |
solitaire
02:58
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i brought myself to work today
my foliage all on display
for everyone to see
hiding out in my hyperbole
i'm driving kinda slow
cause i don't wanna go home
one more lap around the bay
i've gone numb from these roadkill days
trying hard not to wait for you
but i'm unable to move
whole lot of nothing to lose
whole lot of nothing
made a list of all the things i want
burning in the parking lot
static buzzing loud and warm
i take no form
never learned how to
love without attachment
and i never let reality tame me
you wouldn't believe it
standing in the kitchen sink
tell myself i am
getting better at
spending time alone
solitaire on my phone
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10. |
knock yrself out
04:25
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tell me not to beat myself up
but hey, someone's gotta do it
tell me i'm not in hell because there's
everyone else going through it
and i try not to lose it and i try to be kind
i bare my teeth to the passersby
do my best to keep steady look em straight in the eye
but i can see the violence behind
you've gotta be vicious in these streets
but sometimes i just wanna be weak
collapse on the concrete
so tell me i can knock myself out
and keep bleeding if i want to
shut the door and locked myself out
and i stopped breathing just cause i forgot to
and i try to be kind through the anger inside
that i cannot control i am along for the ride
clock yrself out and take a break baby
you can knock yrself out it's all right
you really lucked out don't you think it's an omen?
can you keep yrself open to the light?
everything's gonna be ok
sometimes i think i just like to complain
i pack my bags, i always stay
it's a hard pill to swallow
and i take and i take and i know
everything's gonna be ok
sometimes i think i just like to complain
i pack my bags, i always stay
it's a hard pill to swallow
and i take and i take
and i clock myself out and i take a break
maybe i can knock myself out for the night
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11. |
you should leave
07:24
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you should leave
i've been drinking
from that well again
and i can't pretend it's not sweet
but i am willing to be seen
if you want me
i can tell
you've been daydreaming
of something pure
and though i am sure that's not me
you've had my permission
your disposition freaks me out
cause you're just like how i used to be
i step to the tick tock of your timebomb
you should leave
in the morning
for now just keep pouring one out for me
im not so naïve
but i am willing to suspend my disbelief
if you want me
i step to the tick tock of your timebomb
i know i'm gonna get gone by the time it goes off
why's it gotta be so hard? i wish i could just be soft
i don't wanna hurt no one
tell me what you wanna do huh
tell me what you're gonna do huh
you wanna love me after all i've done?
you wanna love me and leave me all undone?
sorry i promise you honey i'm not the one
you should leave
i step to the tick tock of your timebomb
i know i'm gonna get gone by the time it goes off
why's this gotta be so hard? i wish i could just be soft
i don't wanna hurt no one
tell me what you wanna do huh
told you honey if i get what i want
i'm still losin
if i beg for your love
i'm still choosin
dancin around the room
up on yr tippy toes
feels like i'm fakin it
i kiss u on the nose <3
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12. |
patient (love/mercy)
03:36
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i am old and new
like lines at the corners of your mouth
i fold into myself
in perpetual compartmentalization
i am invented
from paper clips and bottle caps
you glued me there like that
and i don't work, not without your participation
even if you hated me
did you imagine me?
i'm patient for you to come
when all the winds of the world stop blowin
and there is no more tide
i'll wait for you outside
in the quiet suffocation of the acrid night
i am not calm, i'm not much at all
when you are not around
i drink my silence down
after all, i know well that it's not fair to cry
even when he fucks me
he cannot fathom me
i'm patient for you to come
bring me back to my body
i'll be here
let the hours suck the yolk right out of me
i let the mold climb the wall
take my power
if you'd love me
i would be your doll
i would do it all
even if i hated you
i still have worshipped you
love and mercy cannot be married
i'm still not sure i understand
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